Comments on: How to Get Girls to the Gaming Table – and Keep Them Coming Back http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/ Gaming. Its in the blood... Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:07:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Ian Hayward http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2408 Ian Hayward Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:36:18 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2408 Glad it made you smile that was the intent. I would love to get an observational comedian to a con or two. Maybe the sit-com 'The Big Bang Theory' is close...sci-fi geeks rather than gamer geeks but still struggling with awkwardness when the girl next door comes round... Glad it made you smile that was the intent.
I would love to get an observational comedian to a con or two. Maybe the sit-com ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is close…sci-fi geeks rather than gamer geeks but still struggling with awkwardness when the girl next door comes round…

]]> By: ArielManx http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2116 ArielManx Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:55:31 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2116 That's a fair point. I've never had issues with a GM who couldn't/wouldn't run female NPCs, and I've played with enough men who run female characters that it's just never felt like a male-dominated game to me, but I'm sure it is an issue at some game tables. It all comes back to the ultimate rule: everyone at the game table has to be comfortable and enjoying themselves, or the game is a failure. That’s a fair point. I’ve never had issues with a GM who couldn’t/wouldn’t run female NPCs, and I’ve played with enough men who run female characters that it’s just never felt like a male-dominated game to me, but I’m sure it is an issue at some game tables. It all comes back to the ultimate rule: everyone at the game table has to be comfortable and enjoying themselves, or the game is a failure.

]]> By: ArielManx http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2115 ArielManx Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:43:56 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2115 I'm pretty sure you're replying directly to Ian Hayward, but I have to chime in. :D My con experiences have been filled with - for the most part - "normal" people. There were a few who were just plain strange, or who needed a bath (or at least deodorant) or less cologne, and yes, a few were lacking in knowledge of social decorum. But most of them were just regular folk, just like me. I think you're right that gamer social skills are on the increase - I think people are coming into gaming with those social skills already in place. I’m pretty sure you’re replying directly to Ian Hayward, but I have to chime in. :D

My con experiences have been filled with – for the most part – “normal” people. There were a few who were just plain strange, or who needed a bath (or at least deodorant) or less cologne, and yes, a few were lacking in knowledge of social decorum. But most of them were just regular folk, just like me. I think you’re right that gamer social skills are on the increase – I think people are coming into gaming with those social skills already in place.

]]> By: ArielManx http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2114 ArielManx Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:38:52 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2114 Cons do tend to bring all sorts out of the woodwork, that's true. My first con was an eye-opening experience ("I didn't even know you could pierce that part of the body!") and indeed, there were some weirdos there. But overwhelmingly, everyone was nice, even if some didn't have the best social skills and a few could have used either more deodorant or less cheap cologne. And there were lots of ladies there! FWIW, my degree is in atmospheric science - not quite rocket science, but in that realm. While I did indeed know a fair number of your stereotypical scientists who couldn't hold a casual conservation to save their life, in my experience plenty were very social, very fun-loving, and had varied interests. I know I'm kind of off on a tangent here, but the "rocket science" comment cracked me up. :D Thanks for reading and commenting! Cons do tend to bring all sorts out of the woodwork, that’s true. My first con was an eye-opening experience (“I didn’t even know you could pierce that part of the body!”) and indeed, there were some weirdos there. But overwhelmingly, everyone was nice, even if some didn’t have the best social skills and a few could have used either more deodorant or less cheap cologne. And there were lots of ladies there!

FWIW, my degree is in atmospheric science – not quite rocket science, but in that realm. While I did indeed know a fair number of your stereotypical scientists who couldn’t hold a casual conservation to save their life, in my experience plenty were very social, very fun-loving, and had varied interests. I know I’m kind of off on a tangent here, but the “rocket science” comment cracked me up. :D

Thanks for reading and commenting!

]]> By: ArielManx http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2113 ArielManx Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:27:54 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2113 I think you just might win the award for Coolest Mom Evar. :D Way cool! I think you just might win the award for Coolest Mom Evar. :D Way cool!

]]> By: Similkameen http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2112 Similkameen Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:50:37 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2112 I've been gaming since AD&D, 25 years or so. The one point I would add, to keep women coming back is address sexism in the game. Have a discussion about how patriarchal the world is going to be, whether 50+ % of NPCs will be female, female role models in the game world. Set up something that works for the DM roleplaying male and female NPCs, and for the players. While women accept that D&D is mostly a male dominated game, it doesn't mean that the game they are in needs to perpetuate the negative female barriers in today's society. I’ve been gaming since AD&D, 25 years or so. The one point I would add, to keep women coming back is address sexism in the game. Have a discussion about how patriarchal the world is going to be, whether 50+ % of NPCs will be female, female role models in the game world. Set up something that works for the DM roleplaying male and female NPCs, and for the players. While women accept that D&D is mostly a male dominated game, it doesn’t mean that the game they are in needs to perpetuate the negative female barriers in today’s society.

]]> By: LiquidWeird http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2104 LiquidWeird Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:05:30 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2104 Depends on the con. Some cons are plagued by the skeevy hygienically challenged men, others it's the gothapotami or women in Princess Leia's slave outfit outfits, or hairy men dressed as Sailor Moon, (or worse. I still have trauma flashbacks of 300 pound 'slutbunnies' in pink leotards and ears with rayguns. Sometimes gamer inclusivity and tolerance goes too far) and at still others it's the furries badly in need of Febreeze. But some cons, (DragonCon in particular) you get a lot of really cool people in really cool costumes or awesome t-shirts who (generally) bathe and who (generally) wear age and body type appropriate clothing. You won't catch me in anything revealing. It's cloaked and armored characters for me! Still, gamer social skills have been on the rise lately, partcularly since the aforementioned advent of Vampire. Sure, standing around with black fishnets on your arms, a bad dye job, and a regency-era cassock and combat boots and brooding until the Denny's night manager asks you to leave isn't exactly high on the social-skill o-meter, but it's better than a lot of what came before, and it is getting better. Depends on the con. Some cons are plagued by the skeevy hygienically challenged men, others it’s the gothapotami or women in Princess Leia’s slave outfit outfits, or hairy men dressed as Sailor Moon, (or worse. I still have trauma flashbacks of 300 pound ‘slutbunnies’ in pink leotards and ears with rayguns. Sometimes gamer inclusivity and tolerance goes too far) and at still others it’s the furries badly in need of Febreeze.

But some cons, (DragonCon in particular) you get a lot of really cool people in really cool costumes or awesome t-shirts who (generally) bathe and who (generally) wear age and body type appropriate clothing. You won’t catch me in anything revealing. It’s cloaked and armored characters for me!

Still, gamer social skills have been on the rise lately, partcularly since the aforementioned advent of Vampire. Sure, standing around with black fishnets on your arms, a bad dye job, and a regency-era cassock and combat boots and brooding until the Denny’s night manager asks you to leave isn’t exactly high on the social-skill o-meter, but it’s better than a lot of what came before, and it is getting better.

]]> By: Kagemaru http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2065 Kagemaru Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:38:46 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2065 "Then again, I also once gamed with a woman who had no interest whatsoever in the story, and really only got excited when it was time to roll dice and hit things. I have to admit I found it a little odd myself!" That sounds like my mom actually. Yeah you heard right, I got my mom to play D&D (and also Spycraft later). At first she was all like: "I want a Druid. I like those cute animals and that she can heal the whole group." So I made her a healing-centered Druid. Little did I know that she'll dash to the enemy in every battle and tries to down them with her Meleé weapon. She even started to suggest the most aggressive solutions to stuff, which got many strange looks from the other players. Like blowing up a clock tower in the middle of a city, because it was rat/wererat infested. I later gave her a half-orcish barbarian and she was super happy. =) “Then again, I also once gamed with a woman who had no interest whatsoever in the story, and really only got excited when it was time to roll dice and hit things. I have to admit I found it a little odd myself!”

That sounds like my mom actually. Yeah you heard right, I got my mom to play D&D (and also Spycraft later).

At first she was all like: “I want a Druid. I like those cute animals and that she can heal the whole group.”

So I made her a healing-centered Druid. Little did I know that she’ll dash to the enemy in every battle and tries to down them with her Meleé weapon. She even started to suggest the most aggressive solutions to stuff, which got many strange looks from the other players. Like blowing up a clock tower in the middle of a city, because it was rat/wererat infested.

I later gave her a half-orcish barbarian and she was super happy. =)

]]> By: Ian Hayward http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-2056 Ian Hayward Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:43:15 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-2056 Hi Before I start I do not mean to offend anyone with this its just a general observation, triggered byt the 'hair club' comment. I have ben gaming for more about 30 of my 42 years on and off and I think the problem with a lot of gamers is lack of social skills generally. Certainly in the UK and the time or two I have been to the USA there have been a lot of people at cons (mostly males) who have never left their bedrooms except to go to the bathroom, school and cons. They are often highly intelligent people but maybe have a holier than thou attitude because of their rocket science degree, and because of that degree spent too much time in a lab talking to animals (or breathing odd chemicals) instead of having a beer and talking to people. They tend to be the ones who are most likely to put ANYONE off gaming (my son 15 went to a con after begging for a couple of years to go with me and the wierdos put him off...including female wierdos, he can barely put up with my mates 8-))and there are people at cons who I don't ever want to sit at a table with. So I do not necessarily think its a girl thing. Just that a girl in a gamers environment is an opportunity to talk to one of the strange creatures with a lumpy chest and no beard without having to leave their own comfort zone. Cheers Ian (Just off to spend the afternoon with his own sociopaths) Hi

Before I start I do not mean to offend anyone with this its just a general observation, triggered byt the ‘hair club’ comment.
I have ben gaming for more about 30 of my 42 years on and off and I think the problem with a lot of gamers is lack of social skills generally. Certainly in the UK and the time or two I have been to the USA there have been a lot of people at cons (mostly males) who have never left their bedrooms except to go to the bathroom, school and cons. They are often highly intelligent people but maybe have a holier than thou attitude because of their rocket science degree, and because of that degree spent too much time in a lab talking to animals (or breathing odd chemicals) instead of having a beer and talking to people.
They tend to be the ones who are most likely to put ANYONE off gaming (my son 15 went to a con after begging for a couple of years to go with me and the wierdos put him off…including female wierdos, he can barely put up with my mates 8-))and there are people at cons who I don’t ever want to sit at a table with.
So I do not necessarily think its a girl thing. Just that a girl in a gamers environment is an opportunity to talk to one of the strange creatures with a lumpy chest and no beard without having to leave their own comfort zone.

Cheers

Ian
(Just off to spend the afternoon with his own sociopaths)

]]> By: ArielManx http://www.livingdice.com/2757/how-to-get-girls-to-the-gaming-table-%e2%80%93-and-keep-them-coming-back/comment-page-1/#comment-1981 ArielManx Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:59:04 +0000 http://www.livingdice.com/?p=2757#comment-1981 Oh, indeed, when a girl (or two) joins an all-guy gaming group, the dynamic does change a bit. And I have no doubt the same would be true if a guy joined an all-girl group. Either way, it's a good thing. Thanks for reading and commenting! Oh, indeed, when a girl (or two) joins an all-guy gaming group, the dynamic does change a bit. And I have no doubt the same would be true if a guy joined an all-girl group. Either way, it’s a good thing.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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