Death Race 2000 — Better Than Citizen Kane?

No, I am not talking about that mindless piece of tripe starring Jason Statham,  I speak of the original “Death Race 2000 .”

“Citizen Kane ” gets all the accolades and”Death Race 2000″ faces a slow fade into history because of its subversive genius. Well no more I say! It is time we compare these two films and see that Roger Corman (and Paul Bartel)  deserve the same respect as Orson Welles .

By the way, this has nothing to do with gaming. I just felt the urge to write about one of my favorite films.

My points of comparison are the following:

1. action

2. plot

3. sex appeal

4. humor

5. Carridine content

Action:

CK has lots and lots of talking. The only action is the occasional cheering crowd or angry wife.

DR2000 literally writes a new chapter on automobile carnage! Spikes, bombs and the old-fashioned hit and run are all on  display. Blood a-plenty! Even a “Wile E. Coyote” inspired fake tunnel!

Plot:

CK plods its way through the rather dull life of an wealthy man.

DR2000 is a biting satire on modern sports and politics.  I am not kidding. It really is a satire.  The “hit-and-run” for points is just a cover to get it past the corporate film stooges. Underneath it is a searing attack on the media and how it creates sporting heroes.  Also scores points for using the French as villians. Don’t see that too often.

Sex Appeal:

CK offers up women in frocks with more coverage than a burkha . For the ladies, there is Orson Welles.

DR2000 displays Simone Griffeth (worth a Google search, I promise)  in a couple of utterly gratuitous nude scenes. For the women: David Carridine in a speedo.

Humor:

CK  has the happy tone of a puppy’s funeral.

DR2000 made my spit out my drink in a couple of spots. The French as villians, a V2 buzzbomb car driven by a germanic “Mathilda the Hun,” quotes like this”get the baby it is worth more points” are priceless.  Also, Frankenstein (the hero) has a unique weapon that is one of the worst puns ever inflicted on an audience.

Carridine Content:

David Carridine does not appear in “Citizen Kane.” It is a lesser movie for it.

DR2000 oozes with Carridine. In almost every scene he blesses this film with his power.  The man is a legend in Hollywood, even going so far as to dare challenge Chuck Norris in hand-to-hand combat! Bow before his greatness.

I think it is pretty clear that “Citizen Kane” is over-hyped art house junk. Only a  fool cannot see that “Death Race 2000″ is the better of the two movies and it is high time that it receives the recognition it deserves.

Trask, The Last Tyromancer