No, I am not talking about that mindless piece of tripe starring Jason Statham, I speak of the original “Death Race 2000 .”
“Citizen Kane ” gets all the accolades and”Death Race 2000″ faces a slow fade into history because of its subversive genius. Well no more I say! It is time we compare these two films and see that Roger Corman (and Paul Bartel) deserve the same respect as Orson Welles .
By the way, this has nothing to do with gaming. I just felt the urge to write about one of my favorite films.
My points of comparison are the following:
3. sex appeal
5. Carridine content
CK has lots and lots of talking. The only action is the occasional cheering crowd or angry wife.
DR2000 literally writes a new chapter on automobile carnage! Spikes, bombs and the old-fashioned hit and run are all on display. Blood a-plenty! Even a “Wile E. Coyote” inspired fake tunnel!
CK plods its way through the rather dull life of an wealthy man.
DR2000 is a biting satire on modern sports and politics. I am not kidding. It really is a satire. The “hit-and-run” for points is just a cover to get it past the corporate film stooges. Underneath it is a searing attack on the media and how it creates sporting heroes. Also scores points for using the French as villians. Don’t see that too often.
CK offers up women in frocks with more coverage than a burkha . For the ladies, there is Orson Welles.
DR2000 displays Simone Griffeth (worth a Google search, I promise) in a couple of utterly gratuitous nude scenes. For the women: David Carridine in a speedo.
CK has the happy tone of a puppy’s funeral.
DR2000 made my spit out my drink in a couple of spots. The French as villians, a V2 buzzbomb car driven by a germanic “Mathilda the Hun,” quotes like this”get the baby it is worth more points” are priceless. Also, Frankenstein (the hero) has a unique weapon that is one of the worst puns ever inflicted on an audience.
David Carridine does not appear in “Citizen Kane.” It is a lesser movie for it.
DR2000 oozes with Carridine. In almost every scene he blesses this film with his power. The man is a legend in Hollywood, even going so far as to dare challenge Chuck Norris in hand-to-hand combat! Bow before his greatness.
I think it is pretty clear that “Citizen Kane” is over-hyped art house junk. Only a fool cannot see that “Death Race 2000” is the better of the two movies and it is high time that it receives the recognition it deserves.
Trask, The Last Tyromancer