Update: Welcome Stumblers! If you are interested in this post, then you should also check out The Tale of Jacques, my award winning tale of the world’s dumbest gamer.
Every gamer has one game session that just “went wrong.” Whether it be a car accident on the way to the game, a house set on fire by the DM’s candles or collective food poisoning from “Circle-K” chili-cheese hot dogs, we all have at least one tale of a nightmare game session. Rather than let these great tales fade into oblivion, post your best stories in the comments and share with the world. There are no prizes, save the knowledge you amused gamers across the globe and posterity will know of your courage in the face of a bad game session.
I will start. In my youth, I regularly played at the local taxpayer’s league offices from dusk till dawn on Friday nights with John, Joey, Wes and myself. John had delusions of a political career and thought the taxpayer’s league was a stepping stone. They elected him head of the organization. This fact probably had a great deal to do with him being the only serious applicant. Anyway, at about 9:00 PM one Friday night, John, Joey and Wes go out for a beer run. Twenty minutes later Joey and Wes, winded from running, return to the office.
“John got arrested.” said Joey, flat toned. Joey was mellow to the point of coma most of the time, part of it was personality and part of it was constant use of the local cash crop.
Wes, somewhat high-strung and lacking any “mellowing” agent in his system, starts to panic.
“Ohmygod,omygod, They just arrested him! What are we going to do?” Panic, panic, panic, etc, ad infinitum
My thoughts focused on more important matters.
We were in a particularly bloody game of “Diplomacy” and I needed John’s naval support to eject the Russians from the Baltic Sea.
“We have to get John out of jail,” said I.
Several calls to John’s relatives and a friendly bail bondsman springs the wayward gamer from jail. 90 minutes later, I had my ally back, Joey was still mellow and Wes kept repeating the same thing over and over again.
“I can’t believe you guys are just going to keep playing! John was in jail and you just want to keep playing. Doesn’t any of this bother you? How can you be so calm?”
We continued the game, spending most of it making fun of John for not paying his speeding tickets. John swore up and down that he would resolve the issue on Monday. He did not follow through and got picked up again the following game night. We got him out in less than an hour that time. We knew the procedure and cut a few corners.
So ends my tale. Share your tales of woe in the comments sections and let us all learn about gaming in the face of adversity.
Trask, The Last Tyromancer