I am a gamer and generally tolerant of whatever game you choose to play or do at a convention. That said, the two events below were so deeply disturbing, so breathtakingly bizarre that I could not let them pass into memory. I created a new yearly award for “Most Disturbing Event at Gen Con” to honor things that should best be forgotten. There are two candidates this year for the award. Read on at your own peril…
Our first selection combines a modern film with ancient horror. I present…..
Brokeback Mountains of Madness
Time slot: Sat Aug 15 8:00 pm – 11:00 pm
It’s the vacation of a lifetime, girlfriend. You and a bunch of your pals taking off on a dude ranch adventure into the remote Brokeback Mountains. What could be more fabulous? You just had no idea the horrors that were waiting for you there. So the question now is who’s going to miss their sanity check first — you or the monsters? It’s Cthulhu meets Rupaul in this “Tell me you did not just go there” game.
The next candidate reached the final selection on the strength of a single sentence. See if you can guess which line of prose disturbed me the most.
If you’re interested in seeing what it takes to be a hentai (adult anime) voice actor, stop by Dick and Buster’s Hentai Dubbing Extravaganza. This event is hosted by the King and Queen of adult anime Dick Tripwire and Buster Highman. Audience participation is STRONGLY encouraged–ladies and gentlemen most welcome. Hilarity and fun galore! Come on down and rock out with your…ahem…out, or just hang out with your wang out. Not for the shy or easily embarrassed; check your shame at the door and get ready for some serious adult fun! And who knows, this could be you big break in the adult anime industry.
Though Brokeback provided some stiff competition (yes, I said it), I selected “Hentai Dubbing” as the most disturbing Gen Con event award winner. “Hang out with your wang out” should never be spoken at a game convention…ever! Gamers….nude…argh! The horror! The horror!
I planned on giving a joint award this year, but an accident of printing pushed the dubbing event over the top. On page 115 of the Gen Con 2009 program book is the entry for “hentai dubbing,” directly beneath an advertisement for “Grave of the Fireflies.” A film noted for its seriousness and an ending so depressing that viewers want to commit seppuku. It is like putting an ad for a XXX movie next to the “Old Yeller” poster. That is just wrong.
I am open to other submissions as well, just post them in the comments.
Trask, The Last Tyromancer